Maine Travels, Physical Connection with My Kids

Just a warning, this may contain typos and incomplete sentences as I traveled..

As I travel to Maine to see my kids, I feel the excitement to reconnect with them. Being apart physically is so very difficult and painful. I’ve learned though to accept what is. And to embrace the challenge. It took me a long time to get here, but I am in a good place now mentally and have been for the past several years. It’s due to my wife and daughter. Our dog Clover, our home, and our gardens. The oasis that we created. 

This fuels my internal strength and gives me wings to fly creatively. I am thankful. 

I’m not sure exactly what this post will be yet, or even if I will post it. But we’ll see. On a flight now writing this. I still worry about work, but I have a great team and I’m confident they will handle anything that comes up. Again, I am thankful for them. 

One thing I love about traveling. Maybe it’s the only thing! Is music. My headphones are on and I really get lost in the music. The trip out there I have my usual variety. Cowboy Junkies, Steven Wilson, Imogen Heap, Ben Harper, and some Green Day. Definitely an eclectic taste. 

Today I’ve noticed that most of my attention is the pulse or the drum beats/rhythm section. That’s been on my mind lately with my own music. I typically start with a melody or chord progression on guitar or piano and then go from there. But lately I’ve been thinking about the pulse underneath it all. Maybe I need to try starting things with drums and bass for a change, and then build around that. Sounds like a good plan!

I’m having a great time with my son, but unfortunately, I didn’t get to see my daughter. I tell you, my ex did a number on her. I see years of therapy in her future due to my ex’s damaging and abusive behavior. 

Her words: “Ok so I don’t think that I will see you this visit I realized that I am just not ready to see you and do not want to have the anxiety that I have been having about seeing you it has just been too much for me.” Sigh.

I can only keep giving love and support no matter what. She makes things harder than they need to and I feel bad for her as I’d like my daughter back.

My son has to work today and I’m meeting him early for breakfast before he goes. It’s going to be a hot one, so be sure to hydrate, P! When he’s out of work I’m thinking of teaching him to make my fried rice so he can bring it to his girlfriend after she’s off of work. I’ll run it by him at breakfast and if good, I’ll be swinging by the grocery store to get the ingredients. 

Cooking the fried rice was a hit and I went over more guitar stuff with him. 🙂

I had lunch with P and his girlfriend. She is very nice and sweet and they’re cute together. He’s a nice and solid good kid. He seems to be on his own pretty much so I’m glad I check in with him daily. I’m proud of him. Tonight I’m going to his work to be near him and to hear some live music. Shouldn’t be a late night then we’ll hang.

It was great seeing him working and made me glow with pride. So proud of him. He’s such a hard worker and good person. I see a lot of myself in him. It was nice talking after work with him just about life and stuff.

Today I think we’re working on his dirt bike. Definitely out of my element, but looking forward to learning from him. I got a gift certificate for my daughter to her favorite smoothie place. She should like that. 

And what a great day with P. After sleeping in (typical teen), we grabbed lunch and then went to do some work on his dirt bike. It only took a few trips to the store to get the right bolt but he got it working. So amazed at his mechanical instincts. He washed his bike, then off to fill up his car’s gas tank, then to ice cream. After that it was some guitar playing till he headed home. So very proud of him and the fine young man he’s becoming. Always difficult leaving but there’s a peace that he’s so solid in himself. 

Traveling back was emotional as always. It was so nice to spend time with my son and a bit of a disappointment in not seeing my daughter. I will keep trying with her as she is my daughter, I love her dearly, and only want the best for her.